His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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