I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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