As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
