I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
