No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
