You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
