I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
