Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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