The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
