What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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