Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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