So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i would punch a child for taco bell
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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