I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
