My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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