the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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