We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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