I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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