I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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