I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
