we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
