Pappa wants mamma naked
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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