So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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