Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
