why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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