pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
