She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
