watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
