Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
