its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
