Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
