And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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