Swine flu. Run for my life!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
