I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
