it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
