so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
