my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
