no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Blood and glitter go together right?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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