Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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