He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
