I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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