im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
