Your face is a jimmy john
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize