Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
