i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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