i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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