So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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