Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
