Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
