Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
