I smell stomach acid.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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