So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
