Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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