It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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