some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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