you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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