He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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