Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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