I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
is wine microwaveable?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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