Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if only i could text you this smell
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
