no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
