question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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