have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
