So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
