OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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