So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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