true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love you. Go after that dick
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize