College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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